i feel horrific. so huge, and disgusting. i forgot what it was like to hate my reflection to the extent of wanting to die every time i see it. i have my last exam and ugh, i’m going to london tomorrow and i don’t want to feel horrific all the time.

i know it isn’t healthy but i need to fast for the rest of the day, i need to be HAPPY in london and actually fucking enjoy myself, and i know there is no hope in hell of me doing that when i look and feel like this.